My Journey into Coaching
by Dr. Keith E. Webb
March 2008

I first heard about coaching in the mid-1990s from Steve Ogne who wrote the manual, Empowering Leadership Through Coaching. My personality made me hungry for coaching, not because my personality is naturally coach-like, actually just the opposite - I'm a classic know-it-all.

My Problem
Back then, I had many thoughts, ideas, and strategies that actually might have been helpful to my team. However, I had trouble communicating them in ways that they could accept. I too easily provoked defensiveness in others with my suggestions and appeared judgmental, too forceful, or arrogant. This was frustrating for me and those I led.

I was fascinated with coaching - the whole idea of drawing out people's ideas by asking and listening sounded great. The trouble was, I wasn't very good at asking questions and listening to people - if you're a know-it-all you don't have to ask because you already know!

Many leaders have the same problem. We're often in "telling" mode: directing, making decisions, teaching, or sharing the good news. Couple that with a busy schedule and it's easier, it seems, just to tell people what to do.

The Breakthrough
Two things happened that caused me change. First, I took Jesus' words to heart. He said, "but the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said." I realized that I didn't really believe Jesus. I didn't trust the Holy Spirit to do the teaching and reminding. I felt like if I didn't say something, people would never know it.

As I became disciplined in using questions to draw out answers rather than giving my own, the people I coached came up with ideas that surprised me. I realized these insights were from the Holy Spirit. The better I've become at coaching, the more I can see the Holy Spirit at work through the coaching process.

Second, I lived in Indonesia and worked with men and women aged 19 to 25 years old who did community service in difficult areas of the country. The stakes were high where they worked. I had a good-news bad-news realization: the good news was they would listen to me and try anything I advised them to do; but the bad news was that my advice could get them beaten or even killed. I came face to face with how risky advice-giving can be.

A much better option was to ask questions, listen, and help my Indonesian friends find their own solutions. Their solutions came from within, stimulated by the Spirit, and matched their personalities and context better than my advice to them ever could.

And Now...
I am convinced that my role is to help people reflect, listen to the Holy Spirit, and create next steps. As a coach, I provide a stimulating and supportive process, not solutions. God provides the solutions. He really does know it all and is the best coach!

Coaching Questions

• When have you seen the Holy Spirit "teach and remind"?
• Look deep inside, what obstacles keep you from asking questions and listening more?
• What's the Spirit saying about your leadership style? What would you like to do differently?

-------Join the dialogue and leave your comments here-------

Copyright © 2008 Keith E. Webb & CRM

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Dr. Keith E. Webb is a trainer and experienced cross-cultural leadership coach helping organizations, teams, and individuals multiply their cross-cultural impact. Find free articles at http://www.CreativeResultsManagement.com.