sQuestions to Coach Meaning
by Dr. Keith E. Webb

Meaning is all around us: living out calling, relationships, learning goals, spirituality, etc. Unfortunately, all of life is not focused on meaningful pursuits.

Life is full of routine. Routine is comforting, but also can become numbing, even to the point of replacing meaning.

Think of the trivial things that become important to us, like a television series. When I was 10 years old my favorite television series was canceled. I cried. I loved watching Planet of the Apes!

Even today, I find myself choosing between television and conversations with my kids or wife. And then there's email, the Internet, books, hobbies, sports, and the list goes on.

At work, it's easy to let the routine take the place of meaning. Keeping up with reports, email, meetings, travel, and the latest crisis can absorb all our time if we let them. Meaning can get lost.

Routine can cover up a lack of meaning, but nothing is quite as fulfilling as a meaningful relationship or activity.

Moving from Activity to Meaning...
As people explore what they would like to do or become, they often start with the What or How. For example, "I'd like to get an M.Div." The M.Div. is the What. Meaning is the Why. But don't ask why, instead ask about meaning.

• What would getting an M.Div. do for you?
  
• What is meaningful to you about having an M.Div.?
  
• What other ways have you considered to achieve your larger purposes, besides getting an M.Div.?
  

Moving from Routine to Meaning...
No one's work role is 100% meaningful. We all have to do the mundane. Helping the discouraged worker to find meaning in their work and, if possible, refocus energy on more of that meaningful work, can turn things around for many people.

• Of all that you do in your current role, what are the most meaning parts?
  
• In what ways, even small ones, do you live out your calling in your current role?
  
• If you were to design your ideal role, what would it look like?
  How might you incorporate elements of your ideal role into your current role?

Moving From Loneliness to Relationships...
When I lived in Tokyo I commuted daily in train cars literally packed with people. Surrounded by hundreds of people, I was lonely. Loneliness can exist even among friends and family. We feel lonely when our relating becomes routine, losing meaningfulness.

• What makes a relationship meaningful, you ask? That's a good question to ask the person you're coaching!
  
• Think of two meaningful friendships you've had. What made those friendships significant for you?
  
• Currently, with whom do you find the most meaning?
  What positive changes could you make to create more meaningful relationships?
  

Meaning is deeply motivating. You can tell you have uncovered meaning when the person you are coaching becomes either very quite or very excited. Quiet is cause by a state of awe or reverence at the meaning, and excitement is joyous anticipation.

Keep asking until you find meaning.

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Copyright © 2010 Keith E. Webb & CRM

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Dr. Keith E. Webb is a trainer and experienced cross-cultural leadership coach helping organizations, teams, and individuals multiply their cross-cultural impact. Find free articles at http://www.CreativeResultsManagement.com.